Both sides of my family are from the country. My mom is from Natchitoches, Louisiana and my dad is from a little town outside of Houston, TX called Needville.
The thing about growing up with a country family is that everyone learns how to drive at a really young age. We were all behind the wheel by the age of 10, driving through country gravel roads and stretching our necks to see over the steering wheel.
Fun fact: I had a car by the age of 19 (a silver ’97 3-series BMW that I was obsessed with and named “Bullet”), but I did not actually go and get my license until I was 23. * gasp *
The crazy thing is that I am now 26 and I have yet to ever get a speeding ticket. * knocks on wood *
But one of the main things I remember my oldest sister telling me when I would be driving was, “You’re not only driving for you. You’re driving for everyone else on the road too.”
Basically she was saying that any mistake I or anyone else on the road makes, it affects ALL of us as drivers, so we must all be careful.
But I’ve really been realizing lately that that’s how life works overall.
Especially in a time when we have a President whose decisions are literally changing the standards of our daily lives.
We are all technically “driving” for one another.
Not to say that you should base your life decisions off of what others tell you, but we must consider how our actions might affect others.
We can’t get on a dark road and swerve across both lanes and assume others will be ok because it was fun for us. Consideration is a key element to any functioning relationship. Key word: FUNCTIONING.
We are all so disconnected right now because so many are only thinking of personal gain and not using their blinkers to warn others that they are trying to get over.
I’m not just talking politics.
How many times in the past year did a friend do something to hurt or offend you or did a business partner or colleague do something for their own personal gain?
Sometimes our actions don’t match our intentions.
We may be trying to stay in our own lane and focus on our destination, but not realize the traffic that’s behind us.
I’m definitely guilty of it too though.
Sometimes I just want so badly to disconnect from the world and from life for a bit that I tend to block out others. It’s not even because something negative is happening in my life. Sometimes I just need space and to center myself.
But in the eyes of others, they usually tend to take it personal and think that they’re the only ones I’m blocking out, as if I’m angry or something.
The other day I was listening to the Black Girl Podcast and one woman shared how she sat down one day and just wrote down her accomplishments. (I suggest everyone to do this by the way because sometimes we spend so much time focusing on what we need to improve, that we end up not giving ourselves any credit.)
In reflecting on this exercise as I was driving, I realized that the main accomplishments I am proud of, are ones that I did alone. Not to say that I don’t work well in teams, but I’m realizing that I’m so used to doing things for myself, that it is basically second nature at this point.
Now this may not seem like a big thing. Initially you would think it would be good to show my independence, but the more I looked into it, the more I realized that there was only one thing on my list that I finished as a team and it didn’t feel right.
I realized how much this mentality carried over into my personal relationships. It’s not so much an issue with my friends, but with my significant others. I’m realizing that it’s probably the reason I question if I ever even want to get married. Subconsciously, I feel as though I don’t need another to be great.
In order to bring this full circle, I find myself “bulldozing” through and over guys because I’ve never felt like I needed a passenger. I had to look back to realize that it’s potentially affecting my future.
We have to make sure that our paths and methods of getting from Point A to Point B aren’t forcing others off the road or even causing us to get ourselves lost.
When was the last time you really looked over your life to make sure that your life is helping to benefit others in some way?
Don’t just drive for yourself. Drive for others, as well.
Stay blessed, people.
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