Firstly, there are not enough ways to say “thank you” that could express the gratitude for the love I received after my last post.
I am a pretty private person when it comes to certain things, so you guys will never understand how hard it was to speak up and speak out about the mental “low” I was having.
There are certain things about that time that I still have yet to share with anyone, but even just telling a little of my story has helped. 🙂
I’ve found myself smiling more and laughing more.
I’ve found myself giving myself a little more grace and discovering the real me.
I’ve found myself loving myself just that much harder and being okay with the space that I’m creating.
I’ve found myself.
I may not have had the prettiest journey and I may have had some people choose not to take this ride with me and that’s okay.
Mental illness can be a lot to deal with and ya girl knows that.
Sometimes when you have a mental illness, you feel the urge to apologize to others for being an inconvenience on their lives. You feel like a burden so you withdraw and distance yourself.
I was talking to my therapist last week and she was sharing with me that it takes a special kind of group to stick around and check in without being prompted. It doesn’t mean others don’t care. Sometimes others just aren’t capable, so there is no need for apologies.
Nothing I say nor anything I have done has been the cause of any one person and I need everyone to understand that. Nothing is ever directed at one person either.
I am slowly finding my way and I am just sharing my thoughts as they come.
Although I miss being able to sit and have some human interaction at times as a distraction, I have enjoyed spending this time with just myself (and my cat).
I’ve had so many “aha!” moments about who I was, who I am now, and who I am attempting to become.
I will not tell anyone how to spend their time during this quarantine, but I will say to use this time for whatever you need to get out it. If you want to sleep, workout, catch up on your work, mentally check out, spend time with your kids, WHATEVER. Do what you want and what you mentally need during this time. Don’t listen to the chatter of others saying what you “should” be doing.
Stay blessed, my friends.