Mental Retreat

My sincerest apologies for my delay in posts. It’s been a whirlwind of events since graduation back in December.

ANYWHO…how are you guys?

Me? I’ve been suffering from a serious case of writer’s block, which isn’t too effective when you’re…well…a writer. 🙂

I was originally going to make another post, but I have yet to finish it (although I started it back in December). In its place, I decided to do something special: A VIDEO!

I’m trying to step my game up and be more interactive and play around with my blog a little more so you guys are my guinea pigs (no offense).

The video is a recording of one of my poems, which I also started a few months back. Don’t judge me. I told you I’ve had writer’s block.

I’ve never actually read one of my poems out loud to share with others and my ultimate goal is to do spoken word on stage one day, so I figured this would be great practice. Not going to lie, I was very nervous making the video and recording myself so don’t judge me too harshly, please. Creative criticism would be appreciated though.

Remember, this is my first video and first time reading my own poetry aloud so be kind. 🙂

P.S. I talk with my hands a lot when I get nervous. Just a heads up. lol

That’s the Motto.

You know who I feel sorry for? Those who don’t take chances.

Why do we spend our lives living vicariously through others or afraid of our own political incorrectness?

Now, I’m not down with the whole YOLO (“You Only Live Once”), “let me see if I can try this and still live”, “let me play with fire and hopefully I won’t get burned” type of lifestyle, but I do try to live my life FOR ME (and God, of course).

Anyone that knows me, knows that my style is a bit different. I like to live life outside of the box. What fun is there in being like the person standing next to you??

When you die, what will people say about you, outside of your accomplishments? I don’t want to be the person who passes away and people can tell how I gave back, but have no interesting personal stories to share about me. I’m the type of person who likes to laugh and put myself out there.

What’s that one thing you’ve wanted to do forever, but you were too scared that it wouldn’t work out or that others would have something negative to say, so you didn’t try it? In that sense, I do agree with YOLO. You’re only on this earth once, so why not try to chase after your dreams?

Part of me is following one of my dreams just by writing this blog. I’ve always wanted a platform for people to listen to what nonsense I may have to say and this is helping me to achieve that. I could easily look dumb and think to myself, “No one cares what I have to say. No one reads my blog.” But then again…you’re sitting there reading this aren’t you? 🙂

All these thoughts just came rushing to me because I’m sitting here listening to “Fear” by Jazmine Sullivan. If you haven’t heard it, you NEED to take a listen. —–>

Throughout the song, she notes all the things she’s afraid of taking place. Not gonna lie, I think I love the song because I can relate to it so well. Sometimes I feel as though I undergo a lot of criticism, despite my good intentions. I have to look deep into myself and understand that those things don’t define me though. The people who ultimately decide who you are lie within you and the Higher Power.

Take that risk (if it is positive). Talk to that person you like. Perform that song you’ve been working on. Open that business for which you’ve been praying. Go after that job you’ve been wanting that’s out-of-state. Apply for that position you never thought you could get.

So what if you look silly in the end? You tried. I laugh at those who sit back, scared to divert from the strict path that’s been laid before them.

Of course, everything comes in God’s timing and you must be patient and pray for these things, but will you even be willing to step out on faith when God says “Yes”? I’ve been rereading the book of Luke, where Mary becomes impregnated with Jesus. When the Angel, Gabriel, told her of her impending pregnancy, she was scared and did not think she was initially ready, but God had already said it was so.

Are you sure that you have not already gotten the green light to live your life, but you’re too scared to take the next step necessary?

Don’t be afraid to be different and be who you are. Make your mark in history. Besides…who became a historical figure by being like everyone else? 😉

I’m awkward…and black.

Who’s my sister’s keeper?

I like to think of myself as a fairly open book, but only open enough to have some discretion about myself.

I say this because a book that is completely open can’t stand without the support of hands. I’m open just enough to where you could prop me up and I can stand on my own by the spine of my book.

I’ll usually say things that bother me with no hesitation, but I think that this subject is one that is about to boil over inside of me. There is a grave battle between women, more specifically BLACK women.

After seeing Jackie tweet about this yesterday, I figured it was time to write about this issue.

Not gonna lie to you guys…if you know me, you know my short patience with the female specimen. Generally, women are moody, flaky, sensitive, indecisive, and/ or just capable of doing the most. Women also assume things, they take forever, and they are the first to say they’re “real” but never want to confront any issue head-on. Yet and still the question remains….


Now, I’m a pretty chill person. I’d rather have a night, sitting around with my friends, hanging out, opposed to going out all the time partying. That’s who I am. That’s who I’ve always been.

I’m the same when it comes to relationships and friendships. I’ve come to realize that when it comes to relationships with females, there is so much more work that needs to be involved.

Even with all of this said though, I do not knock females when I see them trying to do something positive. I am still willing to support anyone and believe it or not, I have a few close female friends.

One thing I learned from growing up in a house full of women (my mom, 2 sisters, and myself) was that sometimes it’s nice to just have the support of another woman.

So why do we mug each other, hate on each other, and berate one another?

I know that I’m notorious for making jokes about how “I don’t love these hoes” and you may ask, “Well, Shelby. Isn’t that berating females?”

If it makes you feel any better, I say it to females AND males. 🙂

Of course that doesn’t make it ok, but I like to think of myself as an equal opportunist.

ANYWHO…why are we like this though? Why do we feel the need to be rude to one another or judge each other so harshly?

If you have confidence, that’s cool. Be you. Just don’t walk into a room and talk down on everyone else there.

If you see a woman with a nice car, nice clothes, and a decent weave, why do we judge her and say, “Ugh…she think she’s cute.”

That woman never said that, but it makes me think that YOU must think she’s “cute” for you to be hating so hard.

All of us have experienced this: you get dressed up, thinking you look fly, not even trying to show off, and as soon as you start getting some attention, girls start looking at you crazy.

Now…there are those females that do the utmost, but look like the utleast. We’re not talking about them. We’re talking about the everyday woman.

Do you put your fellow woman down more than uplift her? Do you judge her struggles or hinder her confidence? Are you willing to actually help the next woman, opposed to just leaving her the way she is to have “something to talk about”?

These are all questions that I have to start asking
myself, as well. Be mindful of the people you have around you. I have definitely learned from experience that this greatly effects your perception of other women.

Within this past year, I have had too many basic issues, misunderstandings, and false judgments by/ with other females, be it family or friends. Where is the disconnect?

We as women must be willing to address issues and stop letting them fester and become bigger issues than they actually started as. That bitterness will eat away at you. This is me speaking from the heart.

If nobody is willing to take care of these issues, then who else will keep your sister?

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