First off: Happy New Year, my people!!

I know…I know. What took so long for a new post, right? Don’t you see all of the work I was putting in for YOU guys (hence the new logo, header, background, etc.)?

ANYWHO. We all know that a New Year is nothing but a new opportunity for AWKWARD MOMENTS.

If you’re anything like me, you’re just awkward-prone. (BTW, if you haven’t checked out Awkward Black Girl on Youtube, then you’re completely missing out and here’s a link to episode one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIVa9lxkbus)

Well, I asked for YOUR awkward moments and decided to help you learn how to recover from them. However, I want you to keep in mind that these are not necessarily MY awkward moment experiences, but a mixture of mine and ones that other people sent me.

1. This is the awkward moment that started off my desire to do this blog: That awkward moment when you wave at someone and they don’t see you.

Solution: If you’re walking with someone, it’s easier to play off. All you have to do is the classic lean towards the person that you’re walking with and say, “Man, they didn’t even see me” and then casually laugh it off. Now, if you’re walking alone, this could be a little trickier and a little more…well, awkward. What you have to do is weigh your options: is the person close enough to where they can hear you yell their name again or would you be more embarrassed because you yelled their name and they didn’t hear…again? If they’re close enough to you, go for it! If not, play the wave off by simply pretending like something else just caught your attention (i.e. “something” on your shirt, having to scratch your head, your phone “vibrating”).

2. That awkward moment when you make a joke that no one hears.

I feel like everyone’s said a joke at some point, to which no one has responded. Now, this can be for one of two reasons: they didn’t hear you or they just ignored you because you sounded lame. If they did hear and just ignored you, this can be very embarrassing because no matter what you say after that point, they’re not going to think it’s funny. So here’s what you do, in either situation: LEAVE IT ALONE. You don’t want to repeat yourself, only to hear silence. You also don’t want to repeat yourself only for people to be like “What are you talking about?” and have to explain your reference all over again. Just mentally walk away and save your joke for a rainy day.

3. That awkward moment when a room is completely silent and you need to…umm…*clears throat*…*thinks of proper way to make statement*…pass gas?

So…you’re sitting in a classroom, taking a test and you remember that you had that breakfast burrito this morning that did not sit too well with your stomach. You feel it bubbling up and the room is dead quiet. What do you do? If you can excuse yourself from the classroom, do so…IMMEDIATELY. If not, start trying to shift in your seat or begin coughing or ruffle your test around. Do anything to make some noise, but not too much to make it obvious. 

4. That awkward moment when someone messages you on facebook chat or tweets you and you don’t feel like responding.

You can either man up and talk to the person, then have your chat “stop working” OR you just avoid the situation all together and get off of the computer. The only thing about ignoring someone is that, you can not get on twitter or facebook for a little while. At least long enough to say that you did not see their message.

5. That awkward moment when you need to get out a wedgie in public.

Here’s how this works. You can either wait and walk around being uncomfortable or…you can do the old “let me dig around in my pocket to find something and somehow my wedgie magically disappears.” If you’re brave, you can either attempt to remove the wedgie when you think people aren’t looking. If people do see you, depending on where you are, it may not matter because you could possibly never see them again. *kanye shrug*

6. That awkward moment when you wave at someone, but another random person thinks you waved at them instead.

This depends on the reaction of the person that thought you spoke to them. If they wave, just go ahead and smile at them. If they kind of give you an “awkward” look, make it known that you weren’t talking to them. Ask the person that you were actually waving at, a follow-up question, such as “How are you?” or “How’s your day going?” Then the other random person, to whom you weren’t speaking, will feel pretty dumb.
7. That awkward moment when you see a picture of yourself and you have an awkward smile or awkward expression.

Honestly, there’s not much you can do about it, except for untag yourself or get rid of the picture. I just included this because it’s pretty funny and common.
8. That awkward moment when you steal someone’s parking space/ cut them off on the road and you have to see them when you get out of the car.

This can only be fixed by doing one thing: ignoring them. Pretend as if you don’t even see them or like you didn’t even know you did something wrong. Play the innocent role (this will especially be effective for females).

9. That awkward moment when you’re trying to be mad at someone/ they’re mad at you and you forget for a second and accidentally speak.

This particular situation is funny, yet serious at the same time. If you can forget that you’re mad at someone/ have them forget that they’re mad for a split second and you guys accidentally say “hello”, then there’s no point for you guys to be mad at each other in the first place. This is one of those situations that you can’t take back or really play off, so your best bet is to just keep it moving afterward, if you guys still are going to be upset. 

10. That awkward moment when you send a text to the wrong person.

Everyone I know of has been there. You’re trying to talk trash or crack a joke about someone and you accidentally send a text to that person. Personally, I’ve done this, but it wasn’t too bad. I know of certain people *cough cough* that have sent a text to someone, calling them a “bastard” on accident. How do you play this off, you ask? If you can turn it around and pretend like you meant to send that text to them as a joke, do it. But if you can’t, it is better to just be up front, instead of ignoring them (unless it is someone you clearly have beef with, but I don’t understand why you would have their number anyways). Moral of the story though: DOUBLE CHECK the names before you send out trash-talking texts or pictures. 

Bonus “awkward moment” joke by Brad:

That awkward moment when you kill somebody and can’t find a place to hide the body. 

Yes, my boyfriend’s a looney tune. We all know this. But, seriously. Don’t kill anybody. 🙂

This is just so hilarious to me.

Knight Night

“Imma Do Me!”
First things first…what the heck does that even mean?

Like, who else would you be “doing”?
Sorry, I havent even gotten into the post yet and I’m already on a tangent.

Anywho, how are you guys?! I know I haven’t blogged in forever, but I promise to do better!

So this is a post I’ve been wanting to do for a while about something that I’ve always wondered.

You know how you watch those cute little romantic comedies in which, two people that are are seeing/ engaged to someone else, meet another person and instantly have a whirlwind romance and fall in love? We all “OOOHH!” and “AWWW!!” and tear up to the idea of a person finding their soulmate.

BUT WAIT…weren’t they already in a serious relationship with someone that they thought was their soulmate? Like…didn’t they get engaged to this first person?

We always focus on the newfound relationship, but never on the other person that got hurt in the process. What about the guy who got left at the alter?

We all thought it was beautiful when Whitley chose Dwayne Wayne at her own wedding. We all clapped and cheered for them getting back together, but what about Byron?
(For those that aren’t “A Different World” fans, reference the video below)

We all focus on the prince charming, but never on the stable boy that took care of the princess in waiting and fell in love with her.

We all are selfish. We think, “Yes. I found my love.” We never take the time to wonder what’s going on with the other guy/ girl.

Hollywood has clearly gotten hip to this and started making the other person really rude or a cheater or out to be some horrible person. In reality though, you know what we learn? To go out for self. We only think to care about how we feel and not how others may feel about us.

In case you’ve never been in this situation, let me break it down for you with a real-life example:
Earlier today I was supposed to take a test. There was a really bad wreck on 75 and my teacher was running late, forcing him to make the test a take-home that will now be due Friday.

Your initial thought is probably something like mine was: “That’s God!”
Well…think again.
You fail. -__-

We still managed to overlook the important part. Not that my test got pushed back, but that there was a REALLY bad car accident on 75 and people were hurt.

Everyone in the class was excited (as was I), but I couldn’t help but to think, “What if we’re happy our test is changed and someone out there lost their life?” We could be benefiting from someone else’s loss.

It’s the same way with the heart. Don’t fall into the benefit of someone else losing their love.

We must observe our actions and how they effect those around us. We must learn to love freely, but consciously.

Sometimes it’s better to put the Knights to rest and give the Jester a chance at romance.

Life’s a B****

Catchy title, huh? 

You guys know that I don’t curse, but I needed something to catch your attention. I HAVE to address this subject, even though it’s going to have some language or vulgarity that I never use, myself. What was your reaction when you saw that title? Was it this: 0.O or =/ or -_- ?? Good.

Do you remember that phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? Well…that’s a bunch of BS. Words are powerful. They can build someone up or they can destroy them. 

Think about how many times the tongue or mouth is addressed in the Bible. God knew we would be stupid with what we said. In Proverbs 10:19-21 (The Message Bible), it says:

19 The more talk, the less truth; 
   the wise measure their words. 

 20 The speech of a good person is worth waiting for; 
   the blabber of the wicked is worthless. 

 21 The talk of a good person is rich fare for many, 
   but chatterboxes die of an empty heart.”

Now, back to this title of mine. Recently, I have noticed a crazy amount of usage of the phrase “Life’s a B****”. In Lil Wayne’s song “Bill Gates”, he says “Life’s a b****, but I appreciate her.” In Kanye’s song “Can’t Tell Me Nothing”, he says “Life is a b****, depending how you dress her.” In “Roman’s Revenge”, Eminem says that ” life is a dumb blonde white broad/With fake tits and a bad dye job.” 

Work with me for a second. Ladies, if a dude came at you and called you the b-word, how would you react? Guys, if you went up to a girl and called her that, what do you think she would do?? Not good, huh?

So why is ok to address life in this manner? If you call life names and talk about how crappy life is, do you think it’s going to get better?! Know the power of the words that you use. Please.

I just want you to do this last exercise with me. I’ll do it too. You don’t have to share this with anyone, but please try it.

I want you to name 3 things that you dislike about yourself (physical and/or non-physical). PLEASE TRY IT

You don’t have to share yours, but since this is my blog and my space to be open, I’ll share mine. The three things that I dislike about myself are: being mean, acne break-outs, and the lack of drive that I have in certain aspects of life. What were yours?

Now, think about all of those things that you said. Who told you that?? Who said that your hair wasn’t silky enough or that you were too chubby or that you weren’t smart enough or that you were too lazy to make it or that your dream was dumb? 

Words stick with us, even if we don’t realize it. So what have you told other people to hurt them? What have you said to make others think, “Dang…life’s a b****”?

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