2 for 1 Special: “…says who?”

Today’s blog post will be a little different. There are two different things that I want to address, but they both fall under the same category.

Coincidentally, they’re both about videos…and each about a member from the group Floetry (their most popular song was “Say Yes”, for those who can’t remember).

We’ll start with Marsha Ambrosius (the light-skinned one with the AMAZING voice):

As you may or may not know, Floetry is no longer a group and both of the members have gone their own way and been doing their own thing, musically.

Sidenote: “Hope She Cheats on You” is one of my favorite songs. If you don’t know it, you’re sleeping on good music.

Now…back to what I was saying. I recently watched Marsha’s video for her song “Far Away” (which is also my jam). Watch the video and then we’ll chat some more:

Before actually discussing the video, can we talk about how great Marsha looks since she lost all of that weight? Fierce.

Anywho…apparently, this video is causing up a stir. “Why?”, you may ask. I’m the type of person that, not only likes to view certain things, but I like to hear other people’s feedback. The feedback for this video was either  “this video has a great message to love everyone” OR it was “this video promotes ‘down-low dudes'” (UMMM…..WHAT??) It’s strange because I saw A LOT of comments and video responses talking about how this video is about down-low guys (guys that are homosexual or bi-sexual, but don’t claim it) and how they’re afraid to come out because people will torture them.

Honestly, I can understand where people may have thought that the guy was originally with Marsha in the video, but really that was not the case. Marsha and the guy were friends and in the beginning of the video, she was showing that when everyone thought he was heterosexual, that he was well-accepted. Then, people found out he was homosexual, turned their backs on him, jumped him, and ultimately led to his suicide. If anything, the video promotes self-love and love for those around us.

That’s what I think, at least.

What are your thoughts on this video??


Natalie “The Floacist” Stewart (the one with the spoken words over the beat) recently released a video for her new track “Let Me”.

Controversial issue with her: Art vs. Just Plain Nudity vs. Body Image.

What has been said about this video is, not even the fact that she was naked the entire video, but that “her breasts were sagging” or that “she should have covered her stomach.” Despite the appealing aesthetic feel of the video, I can understand those who have an issue with the nudity, but to those who are only talking about how her body looks…


Not everyone has the same body. Just as long as you feel comfortable with your body and who you are, that’s all that matters. It’s annoying to me when people try to down others because they believe that their body looks better than the next chick/dude.

Know your worth. I applaud “The Floacist” for taking her video into her own hands and saying that she was going to wear nothing, in spite of what other people have to say. The video was clearly about intimacy and the idea of wanting each other. The nudity was a mere reflection of their desire for each other.

The video is also a representation of the relationship between Adam and Eve. The nudity played a role.

An argument that some people made was “If it was Nicki Minaj in the video naked like that, people would have a problem.”

*Clears throat and points finger to interject* In how many videos have we seen Nicki Minaj’s body? In how many videos have we seen The Floacist’s body? I rest my case.

And to those saying that she’s doing it for publicity: she’s not that type of artist. Clearly.

Your thoughts on this video, as well? Kthanksbye.

Emotional Real Estate: Flip this Heart

I originally had a totally different topic about which I was going to write. I was completely motivated and excited, but then something changed.

I was texting a very close female friend of mine, who is like a sister to me (HEY GIRRRRL!! lol), about her current relationship. She is involved with a guy that she’s been with for years upon years. Sounds magical, right?

Well, here’s the catch: like the average couple, they have their ups and downs, but this dude…LIES. I know what you’re thinking. “Don’t all men lie?!” You are right and wrong. All men lie. All women lie too (stop fronting, ladies!). BUT some people lie more than others.

Anywho…during our conversation about her relationship, she sends me this text: “When do liars get old? You should blog about that.” Mind you, I’m sure she was not totally serious, but the topic seemed to trigger something very interesting.

If you know me or know anything about me, you know that I have been in a very committed relationship for over a year (♥ you, babe). Now, that doesn’t make me a relationship expert or anything, but I do know a thing or two.

Relationships are investments. I don’t mean in just a financial sense either (even though I know plenty of dudes that break plenty of bread). Above  all else, you must invest yourself emotionally.

Love is a risky stock. It can be the cash cow one day or the indebted dog the next. So ask yourself this, are the costs in your relationship outweighing the benefits? Is the person that you’re with demanding more than you can supply? Would your emotional stock be higher without this person around?

As humans, we tend to play the blame game a lot. So flip the script on yourself. Are YOU the one damaging your relationship and sabotaging your future?? Is your relationship all about you? If so, you may have some reconsidering to do about your actions.

Life is not meant to be lived unhappily. Find your peace. Find your happiness. Find your joy. Find you.


Here’s a little knowledge for you young cats: Life does not always go the way you expect it or the way you plan it.

You know that five year plan you have (or that one you’ve been planning to make, but it’s still just floating around in your head)? 5 yJayden sleepingears from now, you’ll probably want something different. Don’t stress the things that don’t go your way.

A couple of days before Christmas, I found out that my father, whom I have not seen or really spoken to in almost a year and a half, would be attending my sister’s Christmas party on Christmas Eve. My mom and I were in the car (on our way to Allen outlets for their AMAZING sales) with my nephew discussing the idea of my dad coming to the party. Mid-conversation, my 3 year old nephew, Jayden, jumps in and says, “It’s not a big deal!

Even though he should have “stayed out of grown folks business”, as my mom always used to say, we let him have his moment to shine.

Smart kid, right?? Well…it got me thinking. He was right. Not to get all “preachy” on you guys, but I instantly thought about Matthew 18:4, which says “4Whoever will humble himself therefore and become like this little child [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving] is greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Amplified Bible).

That’s when it hit me: the more educated we become, the DUMBER we become. Children are the geniuses of common sense. They know best how to love, forgive, and not care about the negative things other people say about them. Kids are always the ones you see dancing in the middle of the floor in front of strangers with the biggest smile on their faces. Kids are the ones that get mad at their “best friend” and then share toys with them the next day.

Oh yeah…back to my story. So that day, my nephew kept saying “Shelby, it’s not a big deal!” He clearly did not fully understand what was going on, but he didn’t need to understand. I took on his mentality and the night of the party, I just kept telling myself, “Shelby, it’s not a big deal.” I had a beautiful time at the party (I was rocking my red lipstick like a champ) and even though things were a bit awkward and my dad and I did not really speak, it still was not “a big deal.”

The point of this post? It’s to tell you to have the heart and faith of a child, but not necessarily the mind of one. Immaturity is unattractive, but don’t be so mature that you forget how to humble yourself. From now on, when struggling with how to feel b/c life is throwing you curve balls, think “WHAT WOULD JAYDEN SAY?

now the title of this post makes sense, huh?  →

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